DtMF

I’ve been living in Topeka since 2011. I’ve grown to love this city. I’ve seen it change and improve for the better. My kids are here, my fiancé is here, and I’ve made friends here. Still, the rest of my family is in Miami.

There are days when I wake up and the sun hits me just right and I dream that I’m in Miami, that I can just drive to the beach, that the ocean is near, but the crushing reality is that those are slippery dreams that I can’t hold like the sand on the beach. But for those few seconds, I can almost convince myself that I’m there.

It’s not jus the rest of my family that I miss, but it’s the culture itself, the traditions, like playing dominoes whenever there’s a family party. Or celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve, what we call Noche Buena, because that’s when it really matters anyway.

When I FaceTime my family and I see them all gathered on holidays, there’s an ache in my soul that wants to point the finger and tell me, “Don’t you wish you were there?”

I imagine that wealthy people don’t struggle with this as much. They can just take a weekend trip when the longing is too severe. I can’t afford that. My family can’t afford that. I’m lucky if I get to visit once a year.

And while I’ve been here in Topeka, in this new exile of sorts, so many things have happened. Dear family has passed away, kids are no longer kids, and families have broken up. I’ve missed it all, the good and the bad. Sometimes I’ll find out about something important happening days or weeks later. I don’t blame them. I’m simply not there and life moves fast.

DtMF

Bad Bunny has a new album, Debí Tirar Más Fotos, or I Should Have Taken More Pictures. The titular song, DtMF, transports me to Miami whenever I listen to it. It’s a combination of the Caribbean rhythm and the nostalgic lyrics that move me and envelop me in a blanket of sunshine and salt.

I hope to visit again this summer and I hope to one day soon make enough money to make these visits more frequent.

Debí Tirar Más Fotos.

Thanks for reading.